More than a sister
by Dukeofnachos
Summary: Phil wasn't normal, and he never would be. He knew this and so did everyone else. But these feelings towards his sister... those shouldn't be there, right? Warning: Twincest!
1. Chapter 1

Lil is my sister. We're twins. We used to eat mud and bugs. We loved everything gross and slimy. We stored things in our diapers to eat later. Things were easy back then. They aren't now. We're different now. We got older. Things have changed. We've changed. I've changed. We aren't 'We' anymore. We doesn't exist to her. She hates being put together with me. I miss being 'us'. I miss being a twin. Being my own person sucks, blows, and swallows. I miss never being alone. I miss her insulting me with big words that I don't, and will never understand. I miss talking in twin language, finishing each other's sentences. I miss being a twin.

I miss her.

It's probably for the best that she stays away. The fact of the matter is, I'm a sick fuck, no two ways about it. Why do I think this? Not because I still eat bugs or because I still like slimy stuff. Not because I like to keep a collection of gross stuff. Not because I like to catalog the gum I find on the sidewalk. I'm a sick fuck because I love my sister. Not in a sibling way. I'm _in_ love with her. No one knows. I can't really tell anyone. It'll get to my parents, they'll decide something is wrong with me, and sooner or later, I'll find myself sitting on some guy's couch, telling him about my feelings and my childhood. Lil will ask why I needed therapy in the first place, and mom and dad will have no choice but to tell her. She'll never speak to me again and I'll lose all my friends and become and outcast. Well fuck that. I'll do whatever it takes to keep that from happening.

I think Tommy is onto me. Yesterday he came up to me to ask me who it was I had feelings for. When I wouldn't tell him and he was about to give up, Lil and her friends came around the corner. I couldn't stop myself from looking at them and Tommy caught the look in my eye. He thinks I've got a thing for one of Lil's _friends_. He said I have the eyes of a man in love. Tommy's not too smart. Lil's friends hate me. They think I'm weird. All of them do. _All_ of them. I think I'm weird so I don't care what they think about me.

Even so, I think I can tell Tommy and Chuckie how I feel about Lil. Even if they don't agree, they really can't say anything about. I know things about them they don't want anyone at school to know. Like the fact that Chuckie has a boyfriend, or that Tommy's still a virgin. To women anyway. He's slept with guys before. I'll tell, but only if they tell my secrets too.

Right now, I'm walking down the stairs at my house. All the boys are gonna meet at Tommy's house. Lil and Kimi are going to be here, so I definatly have to go. I don't feel comfortable around Lil anymore, even if she is my twin. I don't even look at other girls anymore. Just her. Even if she doesn't know it, she owns me, and she always will.

I walk out of the door and down the street towards the Pickle's house. Kimi walks out of the house. I try not to look too deep in thought. If I do she'll ask. If she asks, she won't stop 'till she either figures it out, or I tell her. She waves and runs up to me. From he look in her eye, I can tell I won't like what she's about to say.

"Tommy said you have feelings for one of Lil's friends. Do you? It's me right? Please tell me it's me." She says. Uh-oh. She's desperate. I sigh. I know Chuckie will be mad at me for breaking his sister's heart, but it's _my_ sister I love. Her eyes are begging – no pleading for me to say yes. The guilt almost makes me say yes. I don't though. Sorry Kimi, but I don't want to be trapped in a loveless relationship.

"No." I say honestly.

She looks away, her shoulders slump down, and I can hear in her voice that she's trying not to cry when she says "Oh. B-bye Phil." She runs away, and know I've said the wrong thing. I watch as she runs away. I really am sorry, but it's not her I love. I hear a door open. Someone runs towards me. I know it's Chuckie. He's mad at me for making Kimi cry. He won't punch me here though. He'll wait till we're alone, when there's no one to help me or drag me into Tommy's house.

He chooses the second one and I'm hoping I survive.

He drags me through the door and throws me into a chair. Another pair of arms wrap a rope around me. So Tommy's in on this too. So much for him being the voice of reason. Chuckie grabs a flashlight and the light goes off. They've probably planned an interrogation, where they ask me questions until I admit feelings I don't have for Chuckie's sister. Tommy tightens the rope.

"Why did you do it!? Why did you say you didn't have feelings for her, when you obviously do!?" Chuckie says shining the flash light in my eyes. I calmly close them.

"I thought you knew e better than that Finster." I say

"You're toying with her aren't you!?" He says louder.

"I thought you knew me well enough to tell whether or not I'm telling the truth." I clarify opening my eyes. "I don't love her. You may have convinced yourself that I do, but I don't. I am in love with someone, but that someone is not your sister."

He glares at me. "Who is it? Who's the little slut that stole you from Kimi!?" That one didn't come from Chuckie. It's Tommy. He's become as overprotective of Kimi as Chuckie is. He treats her like a sister. Probably because he treats Chuckie like a brother.

"I'm gonna let that one go." I mutter. "I can't tell you who she is. If I want to keep my friends, I can't tell you."

I hear a voice. A voice from someone smarter than I am. Someone smarter than Tommy _and _Chuckie _combined_. "It's Lil."

Everything goes silent. No one speaks. No one moves.

"Well hasn't Dil gotten smart?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Well hasn't Dil gotten smart?" I say. Chuckie drops the flashlight. I can't see Tommy, but I can tell he's about to faint. Now they know my dirty little secret. Whoop-dee-damn-doo. "You guy's know, so untie me."

Tommy unties me. Chuckie turns on the light. They both look guilty. They should. They kidnapped me, interrogated me, screamed at me, tied me up, tightened the rope to where I couldn't even breathe, all because I don't love Kimi. I'm starting to _hate_ Kimi. I want to go home, but Lil is there with Kimi, who is probably crying. If I went home, they'd probably never leave me alone. Suzie won't let me in unless I tell her what's wrong. Angelica is not an option. She's just not.

As they back up I stand, brushing myself off. I don't look at either of them, choosing to focus on Dil, who is looking very smug. Jerk. No, jerk is too mild. Two-faced fucking bastard. Fuck him. Fuck him up the ass with a jar of pickles. I silently flip Dil the finger before opening the door and walking outside.

"Where are you going to go?" Dil asks, leaning against the doorframe. Recently, Dil has become my best friend. He can read me so well. That's probably how he knew.

"Park." I say before heading in the opposite direction of my house. Dil nods in understanding. When I say park, I don't mean an actual park. I mean a place that Dil and I found. It's a construction site for something that was never finished. It's been abandoned. We take our bikes there all the time. I walk faster, down a hill and then another, until I come to where I left my bike. I get on and pedal as fast as I can. As I go, the houses around me get older and older. The side walk get's more and more cracked. And I see more and more…lawn gnomes. Why are there always so many lawn gnomes?

I try to ignore the pointy headed freaks as I come to the wooden fence that guards the path to my safe haven. I pedal up the path and up the hill. As I feel the wind hit my face on the way down, I already feel a bit better. Trees on either side of me give the air a pine fresh scent. It's really relaxing. I can hear birds and squirrels who have returned here, after almost losing their homes. It's the beautiful song of the forest.

One more turn in the path and I can see the rusty metal gates of my favorite "park". I don't hesitate to get of my bike and jump the fence. We've never been able to get the gate open. We've even tried welding equipment. Nothing. I head to my favorite large pipe. It's big enough to fit the whole gang in there. It sits up on a couple of steel beams, which sit on a huge pile of dirt the size of my house. And everyone still thinks I'm afraid of heights. I climb and stand looking down on half of the construction site. My safe haven. I sit down and cross my legs and wait for I don't know how long. Clouds roll in and cast a shadow. A small drizzle starts, then a light rain, then a down pour. As thunder and lightning strikes, I find myself immensely relieved that this pipe doesn't conduct electricity.

Time goes by and small animals decide to join me in here. Well, except for the turtle. That's probably been headed here all day. Four mice run inside from in front of me. I guess they aren't scared because they know I'm still here for the same reason they are. Shelter from the rain. Good thing I left my bike under a tree, other wise my mom would be pretty pissed. My pocket vibrates. The animals around me don't move. I take my cell out and answer it.

"Phil, Lil is headed your way!" Dil almost screams. What!?

"How the hell does she even know were I am!? Why is she coming after me anyway!?" I ask, looking around to make sure I can't see her outline already.

"She came barging in our house demanding to know were you were. She had Kimi with her. She tortured me to tell her were you were." Dil tells me. He sounds apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"Its okay, it's okay." No it's not, no it's not. "I think I can deal with her." No I can't. "I think I've had enough time to calm down." I need help!

"If you say so…" I know he doesn't believe me. I don't believe me either. He hangs up. I hang up to. I put my phone back in my pocket and wait for my punishment for being such a sick bastard. I know exactly what she'll do. First she'll attack me, and then she'll yell, question me while unknowingly insulting herself, and then be completely disgusted. I hug my knees to my chest. My life is now over.

The rain is starting to die down. Some of the animals walk away. Others choose not to go until the rain has left. I agree with them. I'm also awaiting my doom, so I might not get to enjoy the sun like they will. I'll be left in the mud, with a puddle of blood around me. Lil is going to kill me. I guess I'll just tell her and get it over with. No more hiding. I need to be honest with her.

The bushes about five feet away from the gate move a little. Lil steps through, bringing the sunshine with her. The animals around me leave. I guess they sense the raw rage coming from Lil. This wasn't how she was supposed to find out. She _wasn't supposed_ to find out. This wasn't supposed to happen. She jumps the fence and looks around for me. Her eyes rest on the steel beams under my pipe. I quickly move farther back. Unfortunatly, one of the animals apparently left a rock in here, because my foot hit it and it fell out. Lil's eyes shoot up and now she's looking right at me. I can't breath.

"Phillip. Down here. Now." Oh shit. "I need to talk to you." I'm dead. I silently jump out of the pipe and skid down the hill. I try to enjoy the wind against my face, because this might be the last time I ever do. I try to enjoy how high up I am, because I might not get to climb back up. As I reach the bottom, I try not to focus on the pain I know is coming.

"Phillip, why would you do that to Kimi? You know you lo-"

"No, I don't." I interrupt. The look on her face tells me she doesn't believe me. "I don't even know why everyone thinks I _do_. Kimi is a friend. I didn't even think of her as a girl until last Tuesday when she started talking about the newest gossip about The Jonas brothers. **The Jonas brothers**. What could I possibly have in common with those generic cocksuckers? Back to Kimi. Let me guess. She ran to you, crying her eyes out about how I 'didn't care about her feelings' and 'broke her heart'. I really have no romantic feelings for her, whatsoever. So far, Dil was the only one who could figure out who I _am_ in love with. And you guys think Tommy is the smart one."

She doesn't say anything for a while. She just stares at me blankly. I think I disarmed her with that rant. It's just that she was going to accuse me of loving Kimi, and I was already tied up and nearly blinded. Why make a bad day suck worse? Her eyes come back into focus and I can tell she's got questions. Scratch that. Why _not_ make a bad day suck worse?

"But-but you have to love Kimi. Who else could it be?" Lil says. "Tommy told me you've been staring at my friends."

"Tommy is an idiot. To everyone else, the girl I love isn't even a possibility. I'm a sick, sick little boy, and I don't deserve her." I state.

"Are you secretly dating?" Lil asks. I chuckle.

"I can't even tell her. Not without losing her." I say, a sad smile on my face.

"Why not? Just tell her when you get the chance." Lil says. I can't believe what I'm about to say. She'll probably hate me, or just leave, or tell everyone that I'm a freak.

"That's the thing. I'll never get the chance to tell you."


	3. Chapter 3

"That's the thing. I'll never get the chance to tell you."

She tilts her head. Just by the look in her eye, I can tell there are a million questions swarming in her head. I think I can hear some of them. "Tell me what Phillip?"

"That I love you." I say like it's obvious. Because it is.

She frowns. "That's not what I meant Phillip. I meant real love. 'Will you merry me?' love. Not platonic brother-sister love."

I step forward. "That's what I meant too Lil. I'm in love with you."

"Phillip, you're confused. You can't love me. I'm your sister." She says. She's looking around, probably looking for an escape. She thinks I'm doing this by choice, doesn't she?

"You think I want this? You think I want to be in love with you? I don't. I hate it. I hate everything about it, and you think I want this? I'm in love with someone who stays away from me as much as possible. Won't even sit at the table at dinner, won't even be in the same class as me. What did I do to deserve that? I'm constantly alone, and for what? Because you hate being referred to as 'Phil and Lil'! I loved that! I can't even be near you without hearing 'Isn't that your nerdy brother?' or 'Go away Phillip!' or 'My boyfriend is so much better than him.' or 'Who's _that_ freak?' or some other insult from your bitchy cheerleader friends. You hang out with the most annoying, bitchy, stuck up, spoiled girls you can find, but you're not like that. You're nice and naturally beautiful and you don't look down on everyone else while sucking your parent's wallets dry. And now your friends who are actually down to earth have to endure hell just to come near you. I have to go through hell to say 'Hi Lil, meet me at the snack machine.' every day. And you know what else? You never show up! You never even look in that direction! And yet I ask you every day, just so I can talk to you! Why can't you see that I love you? Why can't you accept that how I feel?" I almost yell. She shakes her head.

"Phil, you can't love me. You've got a sister complex or- or you're confused- or you just-" That's it. I can't take this anymore. Stop telling me I don't love you! I growl and grab her arm. I hear her gasp when I pull her towards me. I look her in the eye for a brief moment before pressing my lips to hers. I pour all that she's put me through into it. The loneliness, the angst, the jealousy. Her lips feel perfect against mine. So soft and full. It feels great. I can't believe she's letting me do this. She's not even struggling. She's just tense. I pull back and let her go.

Our eyes meet again. Hers are wide with surprise. I don't need to be able to see to tell mine are sad. "I love you." I whisper quietly before running back up the pile of dirt. I don't look back at her. I don't want to see the disgust on her face. I climb up into my pipe and crawl into the middle. I lean against the side and close my eyes, tightly. Maybe I'll fall asleep. Maybe I'll just sit here. All I know is, I'm not leaving until she's far away from here.

It hurts. It hurts more than it usually does when I'm around her. It feels like I'm going to die. I think I want to. It's just not fair. She didn't have to know! Why did I tell her? She'll hate me now, I know she will. I close my eyes tighter, trying my best to ignore that urge to cry. I won't cry. Not now. My eyes widen. I kissed her. I kissed her! I actually kissed her! But… what if she tells Mom? What will they do? What will _I_ do? What if they kick me out? What if they hate me? My hands come up to grasp my hair.

"Lil."

The word escapes my lips before I can stop it. The dam breaks. Tears stream down my face.

"Lil, I love you so much. I'm sorry. I just love you too much and now you're gonna leave me. You disagreed with everything I said, and made me feel disgusting, and made me feel like a freak, and then you made me kiss you and now I'll have to go live in a foreign country I've never heard of, like Yuvoslakvia or some other third world country with random goats in the street."

"_No you won't Phillip."_

My eyes open wide. I look around. She's not there. Then how…?

"_Twins, Phillip. We're twins."_

"_You can talk now that we're not face to face?"_

"_It's easier."_

"_Why are you talking now? Why even care? Just leave me alone. If I wasn't worth it before, I'm sure as hell not now."_

"_Phil, you know it's not like that."_

"_Then what is it?"_

"_It was you. You shut me out of your mind. You were trying to keep it secret. I don't blame you."_

"_Lil, do… Do you hate me now? Don't I disgust you?"_

"_No Phil. I don't hate you. I just think you're confused."_

I chuckle._ "Then I've been confused for two years."_

"_Two whole years?"_

"_Yeah." _I nod, though she can't see it._ "Maybe more. I think that it's safe enough to come to the conclusion that it's not a crush. It was never a crush."_

"_You… you really love me, don't you?" _She finally realizes. I smirk.

"_I think we've covered that."_ I deadpan. I thought she was the smart twin.

"_I'm coming up there. We have to talk about this face to face."_

"_You're still here?"_

"_No. I ran away after…" _She trails off. I look down. It's my fault. Everything is.

"_Lil, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I know you don't think of me that way, and you probably never will, but I had to. I needed to." _I say apologetically. _"I know I scared you, but if you give me the chance. I'll make it better."_

"_Phil, before I get there you should probably know."_

"_Know what?"_

"_That it wasn't the kiss that scared me."_

I raise an eyebrow. _"Then what did?"_

"_The fact that I liked it."_


	4. Chapter 4

"_The fact that I liked it,"_

My gasp echoed in the pipe. I could hear my heart thumping in my ears, almost deafeningly loud. My eyes stung and I could feel a lump forming in my throat. She… she..

" – _il? Phi – ip? Wh – s hap – ing?" _Lil's voice was breaking up. I could barely hear her through the static. I swallowed, and it felt like broken glass.

I took a deep, shaky breath and tried to calm down. It was harder to do this when one of us was too upset. And go, was I. I brought my hand up to my forehead. Calm down, Phil. Calm. Calm. Something dripped on to my wrist. My brow furrowed in confusion. I brought my hand down to my cheeks. Tears. I hadn't even noticed my eyes get blurry. I took another shaky breath. Calm down. Calm DOWN. _**Why can't I calm DOWN! **_I forced myself to take a few more breaths.

"_Ph… Phil, are you there? Are you okay?"_

There. Calm enough to hear in HD.

"_Y-yeah… Yeah, I'm fine." _I closed my eyes to focus. _"I… you… You really liked it? When I kissed you?"_

"_Yes, Phillip."_ I could hear her take a breath, something that would usually only happen if we were both concentrating our hardest, but seemed a lot easier, especially considering the years without practice. _"Phil, that… That was…"_

It was what? Amazing? Weird? Amazingly weird? Weirdly amazing? The most disgusting thing you ever enjoyed? The weirdest most amazing thing you ever enjoyed?

"_That was my first kiss."_

First. No one else. No one else had ever done that. No one else had ever k… kissed her?

"_First? Y-you mean no one, not even Z…?"_

"_He tried, but I… it wouldn't have felt right."_

At this point, part of me is sure she's not really talking to me anymore, and that she's gone to the police and I've gone insane. And the other part feels kind of guilty since that wasn't _my _first, too.

"_Lillian, I really do love you. I love you more than anything."_

"I love you too, Phil." And that time, it's not her voice in my head. I can hear it echo through the pipe, just like mine did before. I opened my eyes and looked over, to find Lil standing there, panting slightly. "Phil…" She trails off. She walks over and squats down in front of me. "You're crying…"

Her hand comes up to wipe the tears from my face and I stare at her in wonder as she does. This… this is real. This isn't a hallucination, or a dream. Lil… Lil loves me.

"Do… do you really mean that, Lil? Do you love me?" My voice is a bit scratchy now. It's a little hard to form words right now.

She stares me straight in the eye, her hand leaving my face. I gaze back at her, searching her eyes for an answer. I don't find one before she wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a shy peck on the lips. When she immediately buries her face in my shoulder, I can tell that she's blushing. I smile and pull her close, wrapping my arms around her. She gasps, but snuggles into me.

#+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++#

Lil is my sister. We're twins. We used to eat mud and bugs. We loved everything gross and slimy. We stored things in our diapers to eat later. We talked in twin language, finishing each other's sentences. Things were fun back then. They still are now, actually. We talk in twin language, just like we used to. We have jobs at a branch of this practical jokes and gross-out store run by some other pair of twins in Britain. We _are_ a bit different now, though. We got older. Things have changed. We've changed. We aren't just twins anymore. We're also a couple. But, uh… don't tell our parents, alright?

#+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++#

_**This the first fic I have ever finished, and I'm sorry the last chap is so short. I know you didn't wait a year for such a pitiful finish. To everyone who stuck with this fic till the end, even after I didn't update for almost a year, thank you. I love you all, and this is your Christmas present. Happy holidays.**_

_**P.S. Look closely at this Chapter, and you can guess the next Twincest(with no other person) that I'll write.**_


End file.
